2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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"Why isn't Bud capable of reading?" Bud is a stone "Why can't Peter drive?" Peter is a woman

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Why didn't he finish his

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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