What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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Vagina cream... end of story

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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