How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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what do you call a room with no people in it? empty What do you call a room with over 9000 people in it? a fire hazard

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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NASCAR

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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Girls soccer

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops