- Anti Joke

Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

Why did FiddleBob Joe chuck a stick of butter out the window? Because he wanted to see a butter fly

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

I'm Polish.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? this overused joke

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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