The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what is orange? an orange

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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flavin's head

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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