What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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G

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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hear hear

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I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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