why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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mikey is cute

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Someone born in the 1970s feeling self-righteous about defending the victims.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What is the definition of “making love”? Something a woman does while a guy is f-ing her.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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