What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo mama is so nasty she won't take a shower till she is dead you idiot says the boy she won't die she has twenty thousand live

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is green an invisible? this cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops