How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Continents are large islands.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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I wonder where the hell Hitler is

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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