what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, This is Patrick.

Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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