Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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A man penetrates another man.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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