What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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You all have Aids

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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canadians

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Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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dickdickvdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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