A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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1

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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hers a joke... japanese people

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops