What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

You all have Aids

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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