What did the man say to his doctor?

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops