How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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women's rights.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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