Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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What do you call a Pokemon without a trainer? A wild pokemon.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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