Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Justin Bieber

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops