- Anti Joke

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

Transformers: Shadow of the Dark Risen Monday. The Autobots starring in more explosions, more random fighting! Zero narrative nor explanations! One constant explosion trough the whole movie! But do not worry! Did you believe that the final battle versus Optimus Prime and his evil Dimensional counterpart Optimal Evilus would be the ones fighting at standing at the end? NO! This is far more exciting! 16 year old Nick is seeking the love of his life in the 42 year old grandmother Mirabella Torres, and ends up proving his love by pushing the button that instantly kills Optimal Evilus`s ultimate form Evilus Supreme! "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Honest reviews. "Yeah we love it that part where Optimus Prime forgets who is fighting and beats the shit out of Jazz and his totally non racist MonkeyBot Obamabus, seriously, this needs to die" Transformers lovers. "You gotta love that scene where Megatron starts blowing up his own allies because explosions!" Transformersmoviefans.com. "So why did Optimus Prime refuse to kill his Evil dimensional brother thing? I mean he was from another dimension, why did he go around like "NO HE IS MY BROTHER IN SOME DIMENSION! YOU MUST INSERT THE SPARK INSIDE ME DEEP INSIDE ME NICKY! DEEPER!" People Magazine. "So this time they just made the Decepticon`s weakness a button so small only a human can push it huh?" People... Just people. "MY EAAAAAAAAARSSSS!" MICHAELBAYGAVEMEPTSD.ORG. Moral: Wow it says skynet is watching all the time now at solvemedia, unexpected considering the first thing I posted was the terminator XXXV thing. So, is it some sort of easter egg feature? I mean I would not believe myself if someone told me that.... Which is actually what makes this kinda creepy...

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f* are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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