A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops