I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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