The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than being raped by a random stranger getting raped by your uncle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops