A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

why did the girl cry because she was raped

heat!

What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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