Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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