osama bin laden is dead

what better than getting an F on a test? getting an A on a test.

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

What do you call a black man? A person

What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

burn baby burn your nanas burning

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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