Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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You having friends.

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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What's black, white, and red all over? An African American and Caucasian man painting a house with red paint and accidentally spilling some on themselves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops