What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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An irish man walks into a bar... Hes met with an intervention of family and friends who are all very concerned about his drinking problem and well being.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Jellybeans

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops