What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

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fridge

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops