Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She got her arms cut off. Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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fridge

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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What's white and sticky? Snow. What were you thinking of?

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops