If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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