What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One below was by me: Walter H

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops