Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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