A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Men

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i named my son Frodo because he was little

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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