- Anti Joke

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

What's scarier than a ghost? Ur mum.

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

how do you complete an exam. dont be kaizen.

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal