A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Tim likes girls

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Do you know what's impossible? A chink whos not smart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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