What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Rishi has popcorn while wass n jess r making jokes on anti jokes

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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