what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ben Wuz here was the funniest Hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three jews walked into a bar I lied, it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how did the man with just a head hide the fact that he murdered someone? im not sure but this seems highly untrue as someone could not kill someone with just their head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what are you mike bibby?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops