knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

An Aisian failed a test

why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

Roses are blue Colton is gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

Albert your flies undone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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