What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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Jersey Shore.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What did the girl say to the guy who poked her on Facebook? You poked me.

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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