Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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knock knock whos their a person

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Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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gay porn...

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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