A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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whats brown and fluffy? brown fluff

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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