Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

I went to work today....

What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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