What's black and white and red all over A bloody penguin

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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