If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar and falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops