A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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One, two, three, four and five

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops