How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops