A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

Why did the chicken cross the roard? There were no cars in the immediate vacinity and the chicken therefore came to a logical conclusion that it was a rational theorem on which crossing the road could be based.

Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

Shush girl, shut your lips do the Helen Keller and advocate the rights the disabled.

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

This is a joke.

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

why did your mum die young because she had canser

How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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