Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

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Choir.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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How do black men eat chicken? Chicken goes in bone come out.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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What? Why?

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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