What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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heat!

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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The chicken crossed the road.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops