Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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