Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

Firgen and the blung brigade

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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