So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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don't just stand there

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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