Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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