Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops