What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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dead dibbs

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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