What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man penetrates another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 7

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's up with airplane food? Well I am a big fan of peanuts, so nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust Whats worse that the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops