There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

roses are red violets are blue

What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

joe diragi whacks off his dog

Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

Why did the young boy die from Aggressive cancer? ...Because there isn't a cure.

If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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