What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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